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An Empty Nest
By John W. Kennedy | May 21, 2008
This week my wife and I are adjusting to an environment that hasn’t been a part of our lives for more than a quarter-century: an empty house. For the first time in more than 25 years, we have no children living at home.
Youngest son Zach has moved to an apartment as he prepares to continue to pursue his education. Of course it’s a bittersweet experience. I’m grateful that I’ve finally gained a study, but I’ll miss Zach hanging around the house. We’re glad that he’s moving on with his life in a new phase of adulthood. Still, we wonder how the three little guys who filled our home with so much joy not so long ago suddenly have become young men on a career path.
We’ve told Zach that he is welcome to return home if he needs a break while trying to figure out what to do with his life. Middle son Jesse already has taken us up on such an offer — a couple of times.
Patty and I have discovered our relationship with Jesse and oldest son Josh improved after they moved out. We’re no longer on their backs giving parental advice on how to do everything. Yet they’ve figured out maybe we weren’t all that overbearing after all. They’ve seen plenty of friends and co-workers their age addicted to drugs or alcohol; bouncing from one sexual relationship to another; or with a tenuous or non-existent relationship with their parents.
It’s also encouraging to see our sons getting along better with each other than they ever did when growing up.
We’re blessed that two of our sons still live within 20 miles. We see them every week – at church, if nowhere else.
At this point in a marriage some couples discover they don’t really know each other. That won’t be a problem in our house. Patty and I never became so entangled in the lives of our children that we ignored each other.
Topics: family |
May 21st, 2008 at 12:28 pm
John & Patty,
You two are wonderful examples of parents who have gone through this transition with such grace. I have witnessed many friends become so frustrated with the stranglehold their parents had on them the closer they grew toward independence…and others wished they had more guidance on their first steps away from the nest, but their parents were too focused on a divorce, or trying to salvage a failing marriage. As a friend who sees your daily lives behind the blogs, I can say that you are the biggest fan of your adult children, and you are still each other’s true love. You’re a blessing to all who know you!